Why I liked "Silver Linings Playbook"

So tonight my wife and I went to see "Silver Linings Playbook."  I forget if I had seen the trailer or not, but it really wasn't on my radar.  However, it was on hers.  And as it turns out, I really liked it.  Here's why:

1. First of all, it's a movie that dares to be different.  It's quirky, calling on the main characters, all played by big stars, to portray strange people, some of questionable mental health, who somehow find a way to be happy.

2. It's a cooky ensemble movie with a quirky sensibility following in the footsteps of a slew of smart, left-of-center movies such as "Little Miss Sunshine," "Moonrise Kingdom,"  "About a Boy," and "What's Eating Gilbert Grape."  The characters are loveable, yet they sometimes uncomfortably approach being anti-heroes.  Yet ultimately, sanity and triumph prevails, and they attain simple everyday victories and the resulting happiness of truly being alive.

3.  It's a heart warming love story about the simple triumph of people caring for each other.  I personally really liked it when Bradley Cooper's character reveals that he loves Tiffany, the character played by Jennifer Lawrence (I just looked up her name on Google since I didn't remember it).  It reminded me of how grateful I was when I told my wife that I loved her, six months after we met.  Maybe our life will be made into a movie also!

4. This movie just made me feel happy to be alive.  Some movies jostle me, some movies inspire me, some movies challenge me to want to play a bigger role in life (this last one is what "Lincoln" and "Avatar" did).  "Silver Linings Playbook" gave me a sense of peace and enjoyment.  Hooray!

5. I identified with Pat's situation and was curious about it from the beginning.  I've been through my own shit in life, a trying time when I also had to start all over, remove myself from my own routine just like Pat did (I finally looked up the character's name!).  No, I didn't go to a psychiatric ward!  But I did take over a year off from college after dropping out, and in that time I didn't do much besides recuperate and reset before moving forward with graduating from college and adulthood.  I suffered from severe anxiety and depression after exhausting myself for years in my studies.  Movies about hospital patients struggling to re-enter society have a certain appeal for me because I relate to those characters in my own way. Such movies are "Patch Adams,"  "Girl Interrupted," and even "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest," which I just saw for the first time last week, and though that is of course a very dark movie, still, I could relate.  Another one, which I had to look up on Google as well to remember (Google =makes us all geniuses of information retrieval), is "It's Kind of a Funny Story."

6.  Bradley Cooper did a bangin job as Pat.  His performance was definitely Oscar worthy, in my opinion.   It's always impressive for me to see an A-list male celebrity known for his "coolness" and "sex appeal" to take a risk with an underdog, a conflicted, strange, problematic character like Pat.  Him playing this role renewed my liking for Cooper and instilled greater respect in me for him.  I had a similar reaction to seeing Christian Bale in "The Fighter."  When a hot shot leading male actor takes a risk with with a role like this,  I think it demonstrates their artistic intelligence and versatility.   Other leading "hot shot" males who have impressed me in the past are George Clooney (in "Up in the Air" and "The Descendants," for example), and Brad Pitt (in "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" and "Moneyball").  It is my opinion that true artists don't limit themselves, and Cooper shows real courage here (as do the rest of the ensemble...  I'm sure other people will identify with other characters based on who they are; in my case, I identified the most with Cooper's character).

There ya go, that's my thoughts on what was appealing about the movie.  I'm a big fan of movies, and my wife and I tend to choose good ones.  In this case, I didn't have any expectations, but since she was interested in seeing it, I thought it would be good.  And I wasn't disappointed.

Have a Little Faith In Yourself

(Originally written 6/10/10)

I admit it, there have been times when my confidence has been tested. As fun as it is to take on a new endeavor like I have with this whole CWiggz! adventure, it's not always easy. Sometimes, things happen that make me look in the mirror and see just how much I really believe in myself. These are the times when the cosmic voice from within seems to be asking me, "What are you really made of, sonny?"

A couple of years ago I lost a working relationship with someone who had been very important to me. Prior to an ugly incident that resulted in him cutting off contact with me, I prided myself on having this man's trust, and was really counting on that relationship to help me in my career. But unfortunately, life said otherwise, and all of a sudden I could no longer work with this person. Despite the enormous pain this situation caused for me, I made a determination then and there that I was going to be bigger than it, that I was going to rise above it and triumph. Over these last couple of years I have consciously moved forward DESPITE the deep frustration of this experience, and it has taught me that no matter what happens, I always have the choice to keep going.

Situations like that will come up, and each time it takes determination to move past it. Just a few days ago I had an encounter with someone who said some mean things about me via e-mail. And for a moment there, I was confronted with this doubting voice in my head that said, "Maybe he's right. Maybe I am no good." But it didn't take me very long to realize that thinking like that was a path leading to nowhere, and that I'm not willing to settle for going down the road of self doubt. So I quickly turned it around the best I could by standing my ground. Now I look at an incident like this as a test yet again to see if I really have the confidence it takes to succeed.

And now, as I prepare to release my album, I am facing possibly the hardest test of my self confidence I have so far had to face. I am getting ready to let the entire world see this creation of mine that I have worked day after day on, week after week on, year after year on (!). I am literally giving my creation up to the opinion of the world. Is that scary? Definitely. Does that require me to face every little demonic voice that is talking to me negatively? Absolutely. Am I planning to let this stop me? No fricking way!

Because I know that this is just part of the adventure. I knew this when I signed up for it, back in 2004 when I first decided to do this album, back when it took me literally six months to get over the fear and embarrassment I felt over even having the idea of rapping. I knew this, even when it took me nearly four years of performing at open mics before I could let my guard down enough to listen to what other people had to say. Even when I was so susceptible to my own fear of criticism that I had to shut out people for awhile, even when I thought I had to get on stage with the mindset of a railroad (I'm gonna ram my stuff through, and ain't no one gonna stop me!), even then I knew that facing and conquering my own negativity was part of this game, a rite of passage I would have to go through. And now I believe I have created a foundation of confidence that will get me through life's challenges, because it is always within my power to continue having faith in myself.


Thanks for reading. I hope this posting makes a difference for you the next time something in life happens to challenge your self confidence. Because, believe me, it will happen.

Have a little faith in yourself.

Best,

CWiggz!

Superman, Luke Skywalker, and the Power of Childhood Fantasies

"I'm not just another great performer with a
Tape recorder and a way with words
Ain't you heard? I got a greater purpose I was made for
I'm a superhero here to save the Earth!"
--From my song "Superhero"

HERO
a : a mythological or legendary figure often of divine descent endowed with
great strength or ability
b : an illustrious warrior
c : a man admired for his achievements and noble qualities
d : one that shows great courage


Okay, folks. Time to do a little time traveling back to Chris's childhood:

So there I was, a three years old, playing in my neighborhood in Concord, CA, where my family had recently moved, and I was thinking about my wonderful Superman book that I had gotten. It was a full color storybook of Superman, and I would pore over it, envisioning the story of Superman in my head, and fantasizing about the superhero story.

At that moment that I remember thinking, "I want to be Superman!" In fact, at some point I had acquired a Superman cape, and I wore it to the preschool I went to. Unfortunately, the preschool teachers were concerned that I was going to jump off a tree and hurt myself (I think I even got up into a tree!), so they took the cape away.

Skip to another, related memory. My other fantasy was to be a Jedi Knight. A spot weld moment in my childhood was when my dad picked me up from pre-school one day and brought me to see "Return of the Jedi." I still vividly remember watching the scene where the Emperor gets thrown into the shaft by Darth Vader. At one point, when I was about seven, I took a Polaroid of myself holding up a flashlight and drew a light saber blade with a green crayon. I also remember at school repeatedly drawing the scene where Lando Calrissian fights his way out of the Sarlacc pit to avoid the fate of being digested for 1000 years.

You might say that it seems kind of silly to talk about these childhood fantasies. After all, I was probably one of millions of kids who did these kinds of things. Besides, what do Superman and Luke Skywalker have to do with who I am today?

The answer (don't laugh): a lot. These characters sparked real desires in me of how I wanted to live. Because, although I may no longer be fantasizing about wielding a lightsaber, I still have aspirations to live a heroic life. And just like many a kid (or adult for that matter), these stories sparked that desire in me. The characters in these movies inspired me too to want a life that is a fun, rewarding, triumphant adventure just like them.

After all, isn't that in a sense what these fantasies represent? Isn't that what makes stories like these cool in the first place? If you ask a kid why they like Superman, the kid won't say "because it's entertaining." He'll tell you it's because he wants to BE SUPERMAN. I didn't just think Star Wars was entertaining, I wanted to BE A JEDI. Literally.

If you think about it, characters like Superman or Luke Skywalker represent ideal ways of being. These characters don't just serve to entertain, they serve to inspire. You may not actually wear a cape and fly, but you can aim to "save the day," so to speak, in whatever you're doing. You can stop by the side of the road and help someone with a flat tire and be their hero.

And although you may not be able to wield a laser beam as a sword and move objects with your thoughts (or maybe you can, for all I know!), you can practice trusting your intuition. You can develop your mind to be a sort of Jedi Wizard in whatever you do. You can literally eliminate the "Dark Side" of negativity from your life by being a positive person who takes responsibility for it.

The point is, the stories that kids are exposed to are powerful. I think people actually are influenced more than they realize by the childhood fantasies they had. They help shape the people we become. Look to your own life and see if any of this is true.


It's certainly true for mine.


--Chris

Forge Your Own Path!

“CWiggles! A lowdown, shameless white boy
And when he comes for you
There is nothing you can do.
He spells trouble! You better run and hide, boy
You don't know if you want him to,
Here He Comes CW!"

--From my song “Here He Comes CW”


I’ve heard all the conventional wisdom. “Make money. Be successful. Get a good job.” And all the messages I see on TV about all the great material possessions that I'm supposed to have, all the people I'm supposed to be like, and all the things that are supposed to be good for me, and all the things that are supposed to be bad for me. Etc Etc.

And of course, I, like everyone else, am influenced to some degree (maybe a large degree) by my culture. From the clothes I wear to the movies I watch, from the news stories I read to what I eat, my life is shaped by the world around me. At the same time, as much as I can, I aim to be inner-directed. I intend to decide for myself what is good for me and what is not, and live accordingly. That's why I work hard to live by personal standards that matter to me, and in this, I maintain my own integrity with myself.

In my living example as an artist and human being, I don't mind interrupting the old notions, the conventional wisdom, the tried and true cliches passed from generation to generation. That's because I'm really interested in being true to myself. I'd like to pass a message to all people that what matters is creating your life to fit you. I believe this is the key to true happiness.

I believe that when you stop trying to gain approval from others and start approving of yourself, you start to become the source of what other people want to be. When you stop trying to get others to like you and start being someone others want to be like, you effortlessly start achieving the results you grabbed so desperately before to attain. Inner confidence, and the willingness to be directed by your inner wisdom, are qualities that great leaders and pioneers possess. These qualities are priceless in value. They are exhibited by people who forge ahead confidently and with faith in creating their own path, though it may sometimes seem strange or incomprehensible to others.

Here's to forging your own path!

--Chris

From Despair to Freedom: the Power of Living Your Truth

"This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man."
--From Hamlet by William Shakespeare


My life is rewarding on a daily basis, not only in terms of making money in my art, but also spiritually in terms of the joy of living my purpose and doing what I'm best suited for in this world.

But it wasn't always that way.

Ten years ago, I didn't know what my next step was gonna be. At the time, I was living in complete misery, having chosen to go to a college I didn't want to be at on the other side of the country for reasons that had nothing to do with what I really wanted. I was worn-out by school studies that, while enriching, were endlessly challenging at best and soul-numbingly exhausting at worst. I essentially had no fulfilling social life, although I interacted with a lot of people. This was because I had anxiety issues and all kinds of crazy worries that made it harder for me to be with people while experiencing any real confidence or enjoyment. I was in my head all the time and did not talk to anybody else about what was really going on for me, so I had a distorted perspective on life and on myself. To be perfectly honest, my level of unhappiness was so extreme that I know why people commit suicide. If I didn't believe I was put on Earth for more than just suffering through life, perhaps I would have.

Eventually, this charade got unbearable, and finally, in the Spring of 2000, I dropped out of school in the East Coast, where I was going at the time, and returned back to the Bay to regroup and, honestly, to recuperate. I had experienced my own personal rock bottom, and though I was intensely depressed and found it hard to enjoy anything at all on a daily basis, I was determined to make things better. The following year, I applied to and got accepted at University of California, Berkeley, where I enrolled in the fall of 2001. Two years later, I graduated from UC Berkeley with honors and a music degree.

Fast forward to now. My life this week alone reflects a completely transformed reality from what it was ten years ago: I have rehearsed with a classically trained singer for an all-classical recital we have next week; performed my own style of hip hop piano music for a public audience; created and performed an original play for a family get together; attended a video release party for a R&B song that is currently on the radio; and performed piano shows at two different Alzheimer's/dementia care centers, one health care center, and one retirement home.

And by now, this is nothing new! Doing awesome things is just my life. I've written original scenes for a teen opera program, and watched my idea fully realized on stage with a full cast two years in a row. I've co-produced a hip hop track that featured an artist who worked with Tupac. I've been to Canada for a songwriting retreat and Los Angeles to see the Grammys. I've received music business mentoring with an music industry expert who worked with the likes of Madonna and George Winston. Recently I've begun working with an image consultant who was once Beyonce to Usher's agent. I worked for nearly two years with an opera singer who personally worked with Aaron Copland and who performed at opera houses in Europe for decades. And in the past year, I've performed nearly one hundred and fifty piano shows for the elderly.

These experiences have demonstrated to me that fulfillment doesn't happen by accident. It comes from choosing what is true. It comes from connecting with what is real inside of you and honoring that always. And although, sometimes it takes going in the complete opposite direction to realize what is not working, once you do find your truth and life from that place, life makes a whole lot more sense, and it becomes a lot more fun.

I know because I've been there.

Best,

Chris

Riches From Within

"Attuned to the music it's truly like praying
it keeps me grounded, I'm astounded..."

--From my song "Here Upon the Keys"


In my young music career, I can't exactly say that I've earned a ton of money so far. There are plenty of other people who have earned more. Yet what I do for a living, and the plans I have at work, are so rich, and give me so much back, that I feel as if I am truly rich. In fact, I feel as if I am one of the lucky people on this planet who is blessed to do something he loves doing.

Today I played a piano show at an Alzheimer's center near where I live. The occasion was a family day where the family of the residents came in and visited with their family member. I hadn't met all of these visitors, but I was quite familiar with the residents they came to visit. That is because I have performed weekly at this particular care center for nearly a year (the first performance i gave there was on July 22nd of last year). This is in fact the first elder care center where I performed (and I have given nearly 150 performances at retirement homes and Alzheimer's centers all over the Bay Area since then). Also, since my grandmother had Alzheimer's before she died, this type of center is important to me personally. I have sort of adopted it is my home base (which is also pretty easy because i live five minutes away from it!).

Playing this show filled me up in ways that go beyond making money (although I was also paid), and lots of great memories fill my mind with satisfaction right now as I think about it. For example, the delighted attention of the audience (residents, family members, and staff) as I improvised a boogie woogie. The pleasure of having one visitor say how lucky she felt that she could sit up and close and listen without having to pay for it. The sweetness of playing a mellow song while one of the staff members danced with a resident. The joy of dressing up in a tux for a crowd that feels complimented to even be considered worthy of dressing up in a tux for. Oh yeah. And the sense that I was serving a purpose greater than myself, a purpose that I was born to fulfill, by giving of my talents to this exceptional group of people who are too often overlooked by the rest of society.


This richness fills me, fuels me, and satisfies me. And I believe it is the basis for me to create the prosperity that I desire. Because I believe true prosperity comes from aligning me using my best talents and strongest passions in service to the world. And when I do that, I feel freaking rich! And the money follows!

This is truly a beautiful thing.


Best,

Chris

"Thank You" --The most important words you'll ever say.

"I'm a fool of the music, choosing to express the music
that gets me through the restlessness and ends the confusion.
When I'm stewing I find solace in this embrace,
the sounds the keys make. The harmonies, that vibrate
down deep to my core. Whenever I'm reading the score,
I know what it's like to weep for the Lord."
--From my song "My Life Upon the Keys"


Last weekend I played piano for a charity event that raised money for two organizations that are helping people in Kenya by educating children and training new entrepreneurs. After playing for about an hour and a half while people arrived, I listened to a man from one of these organizations talk about the impoverished conditions that most Kenyans face, the staggeringly high percentage of them who are infected with AIDS/HIV, and the limited opportunity they have to gain an education and to be successful in the world. Listening to this talk was both upsetting and eye opening, because it reminded me of just how good I have it.

Because let's be honest: we really have a lot to be grateful for! Every day you and I enjoy the luxury of living in a basically orderly and abundant culture. I turn my faucet on and I have running water. I turn my light switch on and I have electricity. I turn the computer on and I have the internet and can write this blog. I go to the gas station and buy relatively affordable gas (not $7 per gallon like in some countries!), and I look in the Yellow Pages and can find hundreds (no, thousands!) of affordable choices for where I can go for fun, where I can shop, where I can dine, where I can get my clothes dry cleaned, where I can go on vacation, etc. The last time I checked, my income level is not considered "upper class," yet relative to many, many people on this Earth, I AM upper class. For some people, being upper class means having enough to eat!

And it just reminds me to say those magic words: "Thank you." To be grateful for all the good things, because they are not things I take for granted. I am grateful to be alive in this country today, to be afforded the opportunity to live in a culture where I can pursue my dreams of being an artist AND get by! I feel so freakin' rich!

And the same probably goes for you, too, as you read this blog. You might not always think you got it good, but take a look around. You don't have to look very far to realize just how good you got it. You could be a Kenyan whose entire family died of AIDS or Malaria while see no opportunity, no jobs, and no good prospects to live a happy, healthy life.

So let's be grateful for all the good around us. And let's also be compassionate to others who experience the crippingly adverse circumstances of extreme poverty. Abundance and well being is all around us, if we just have the eyes with which to see it. And I know no other way that is quite as effective as seeing through the eyes of gratitude.

By the way, what are you grateful for?

Best,

Chris

P.S. If you want to learn more about the organization the man I mentioned is from, here is the link to it: www.kr-foundation.org.